Mister Doo
© Steve Wells 2003
Now, Phineas Gage, worked on the line, worked with dynamite all day,
Yeah, Phineas Gage, time after time, hit the cramping iron his way.
When it all went wrong, it weren’t for long
He’s a lucky man they say.
Now, Phineas Gage, just like every time, filled the hole with the blasting stuff.
Yeah, Phineas Gage, working on the line, tamped down hard more than enough
But a second or two before the blast was due,
Ten pounds of dynamite went off.
Chorus: Keep your irons in the very best condition
Keep your powder nice and dry
Whatever you do when you’re checking a position
Don’t look down the pole with your eye
Now, Phineas Gage, looking down the hole, saw a ten-foot cramping iron coming his way
Yeah Phineas Gage, he had just no time, to get his head out of the way.
So the red hot pole cut a big clean hole,
The wind could blow right through it so they say.
Now Phineas Gage in an hour or two, was back and working on the line.
Yeah, Phineas Gage, with a hole in the head, was back and blasting feeling fine.
The only change, was a little more rage,
He’d snap at you from time to time.
Chorus
Yeah, you might think, that a hole in the head, would put you in the infirmary.
But Phineas Gage, all he got, was a change in personality.
And he’d amaze his friends, by touching finger ends
In the place where some head used to be.
Now people were amazed but it was no surprise to me, Gage’s personality did change
When a cramping iron like that, removes some brain and burns your hat,
you’re bound to feel a little strange
I’ll run that by you again, a missile through the brain,
Just might make your whole demeanour change!
Chorus
Now this here story spurned a whole new science, called full frontal lobotomy
If you a piece from a psycho’s brain, he’ll end up just like you and me.
Tried again and again, but they tried in vain,
To try to turn a psycho into me...